Purani jeans aur guitar....

 

Parents care for you. They select a partner for you by going through a bunch of bios, researching, analyzing, and debating at times. They don't fall in love at the first sight by looking at the picture; his sharp features, or his masculine jawline. They put in a lot of effort, yes, a lot more than you do.

Well, I had fallen at the first sight. Yes, I was in school and he was my classmate. He wasn't a macho kind nor did he have the puffed, gym body, of course just a teenager who had a faded tinge of mustache, still growing. He was a sweet-looking boy, tall, wheatish skinned and a twinkle in his eyes. He had a candied smile. He often pranked our classmates. And this naughtiness of his attracted me.

You know how this amateurish love is, you keep falling for the silliest things your crush does. Even if he kicked a goal during a regular practice football match, I used to applaud loudly. If he took a bite from my tiffin, I used to be happy. If he patted my head and cracked a joke, I used to blush.

Our group of friends used to sing the song "Purani jeans aur guitar...." together and the line "Woh likhna hathon par A+R",  would give me butterflies, as the initials were exactly his name and mine. I used to secretly glance at him on this line, to see if he's watching me too. At times he did and smiled, and got my hopes high. Other times he was busy clapping his hands, as though, not bothered at all. He was a good singer and used to say that he wants to be a guitarist. But I was bad at singing so could only cheer him up when he sang at the annual functions.

His thoughts lingered all along, even in my dreams. I had seen him winning a trophy for football. Also receiving the 'Best Singer' award. I witnessed, him asking me out and we going on a date, eating icecreams, and he stealing bites from my ice cream while not sharing his.

This anxiety kept me awake late at night. And my heart raced when I saw him in person the next day. It was a hopeless case of love....a perfect love, for me!

He was like this Prince charming. I was sure that one day he will come riding a white horse and ask my parents to marry me off to him. I used to be elated, when, for school projects, I was chosen to be in his group. That way, we got to spend more time together.

He wasn't very good at studies, and I was an average too. But we had helped each other on several occasions, for Math problems or Hindi essays. It was fun to study at the library. He used to read out the paragraphs from the English textbook. Strands of his silky hair would sway and drop on his forehead due to the pedestal fan's breeze and I would love to stare at his profile view. I never remembered which paragraph or which line he was reading and when it was my turn he would tap my head if I read the wrong one. I used to smile at him, biting my tongue and he used to shake his head, as if saying, "You are impossible".

Our eyes met on several instances and at times, I got nervous and diverted my glance. Well, I always thought that he would endorse my feelings.

But that day didn't arrive. Neither he nor I opened up about our emotions. He opted for a different course and I went to another university for my graduation. And to date, I don't know whether he was into me or was it just my delusion.

After my graduation, my parents did the investigations and inspections for my marriage prospects. And they finalized the groom, of course with my consent. We got married and started our family. I am happy with my husband and my kids.

But on a certain day, I recalled that ex-crush of mine. A thought crossed my head and it dawdled for the next 2-3 days. So, I decided to stalk my school crush online. Now that we can find out just by typing a name, where a person is, what does he do... how does he look now, etc, etc., I clicked on his profile page.

The profile which I used to stare at, in the library, that cute jawline, was now covered with a bushy beard, in salt and pepper. The silky hair that dropped, with the breeze, on his forehead, had receded like the low tide taking the sea backward. And the residual hair were grey now. The smile was the same though, but not as candied. He still liked playing guitar and had videos of him singing, one of them was "Purani jeans...", "Oh! He still sings it", I thought.

I glanced at his picture and smiled. I didn't feel any of those butterflies nor did my heart race. I went through the page just like I glance at any other profile, on any given day.

Destiny is what shapes your life. "If I had ended up confessing to him, how would my life be then?", I had asked myself this question, but when my husband hugged me after returning from his office in the evening, I was contented with what was now, at present, my life. I guess, the time lost, changes the whole equation.

#FICTION.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ex-crush - Wish him the best and move on, if he was the right one, he would've been a part of your life! ~ Jui Purohit.

My fiction take.

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