Aligning my expectations with reality wasn't easy - 2.

 You don't always get, 

What you invariably expect, 

Although you work hard, sincerely,

Luck plays it's role unapologetically!


This could be a prequel to my first blog, as I am taking you from my pregnancy era, back with me, to my twelfth grade.

I had worked my socks off for my twelfth grade boards. My friend and me studied day and night so that we could make it to the merit list of Govt. Engineering college in my town.


We didn't leave a stone unturned, whether it was old papers or mock tests, making notes of every tiny point and details of every chapter, we made sure to grasp it all.


The expectation of getting into a renowned college, as every other counterpart of ours' had, made us slog willing. It's always a tough competition when it comes to admissions in our country. It's not just the merits that we compete with but also with the benefits given in our society not based on merits.




I finished my board examination, both the theory and practicals. I was confident enough of scoring good grades. And so did I, in all the subjects except Chemistry. 






This unforseen twist in incidents, shocked me to the core. I couldn't believe in the reality of my percentage that flashed on the screen. We hadn't got the results on paper yet.


Later when I got the bifurcation of marks, I got to know that I had scored very good marks in theory but my internal practical grades were not up to the mark. It's totally in the hands of our practical Sir, Why did he do that to me? I thought. Few students from my batch had completed their chemistry practical successfully and I was one of them. As per the protocol of girls, we discuss everything word to word after each exam is over. And I knew that whatever I had performed was absolutely correct.

Then why didn't I score 10/10? Did Sir have a personal grudge against me? I couldn't recall any of such incidence where I had offended him or for that matter even spoke anything wrong during the entire course. Was it because I belong to a certain caste and he belongs to a certain? Maybe he has his 'reservations'(pun, unintended).

And don't be astonished when I say this....it happened in the college I was studying quite often, there was bias relating to castes, religion, which was absurd.


Whatever the reason was, marks on my result sheet showed percentage below my expectations. Aligning my expectations with reality wasn't easy.


I locked myself up in the room and cried my heart out. My parents were always supportive. They didn't rebuke me nor did they nag. They were just worried that I shouldn't harm myself, simply because I scored less in one subject in one of the many examinations in my life. They told me it was perfectly okay and I will have to face more intense and fierce tests in future, as I grow older.







I held myself together and got admitted to a private Engineering college, evidently on merits. I passed each year with a distinction throughout. I am not acting like a narcissist and I am not here to glorify myself. I just want to convey, how I came to terms with my reality, reality that I wasn't a bad student and that I could succeed only if I didn't stop trying because of a tiny failure in my life.


You don't need to repudiate the reality, accept it. Yes! It will take some time to sink in. But don't give up yet. And yes, keep expecting too, that's how dreams come true!


AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you like my blog hit the heart button ♥️, there's a comment box for suggestions and comments, for more, keep following!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diary 2024

Image
  And 2024 ends..... What a roller coaster ride!  Every year passes by and the new year comes afore, leaving you with something and making you leave something.  It would be quite odd if time doesn't indoctrinate our minds. This year taught me so much, like the previous one and the prior ones too! I have learnt valuable lessons thanks to 2024. The year was challenging, demanding yet gratifying.  What I grasped this year would be exemplar for rest of my life!  The fear of losing your close ones, leaves you petrified. While the close ones are battling, struggling with all their mights, you feel helpless even when you have honest intentions of support. Mental support, yes that can be given in abundance, there's no ceiling to it. But the one you intend to support is going through so much that sometimes just being there, showing up is also helpful.  Sleepless nights, nightmares haunted me for days. But then when you see them valiantly striving and vanquishing the...
Read more

Moira : Bound to happen! Chapter - 1.

Image
She was sitting on the bench under the huge tree. Its extensive branches covered few more benches around. The park was a hangout place for teenagers. It was a playground for children and a perfect site for the exercise enthusiasts. People jogged, wearing headphones, determined to shed those extra kilos and be fitter, sticking to their new year resolutions, was a familiar sight here.  Yuga wasn't feeling the vibe today. She had left home as usual, early in the morning, in her tracks and tee to run a few miles, but after three rounds she just sat down on the bench. She saw an old lady taking rounds, walking slowly, but with vigour. The tree was shedding it's aged golden leaves. One such tanned foliole fell beside Yuga on the bench. She picked it up and let it descend on the ground. She switched off the songs playing on her phone. With air pods in her ears, she sat inert on the bench. She closed her eyes and could hear the birds chirping. "They are so happy even at the break ...
Read more

What's your plan?

Image
 "You've to score good grades at school!" "You've to do your Olympiads!" "You need to have a co-curricular activity or some sports activity!" "You should be able to dance or sing or play a musical instrument!" Oh my my! So much pressure on these little one's learning to adapt and traverse the lanes and by lanes of this complicated world. "But its a rat race! He/she needs to figure it out sooner. Studies, career, universities, the stress builds up as they advance into their grades (classes), isn't it?" Yes, true. It's a tough task for the coming generations. Population is ever increasing. Even though the colleges and courses are increasing in numbers but we have no say on the quality of education they impart. Also the leading universities and colleges are always the first priority, obviously. So the newbies are looked down upon. Also the reservations hinder the paths of many. Well, so what score is a good enough score...
Read more