You are my strength Aaji.

 Dear Aaji(dadi),

You always told me two things, 'Oil your hair, it's their fuel' and 'Don't fuel your anger'. I am devotedly following the same.

I guess, aaji, you were born a bit early for your epoch, you were always that modern. You stayed in a hostel to study, far from your home, being a young girl, of old generation. You inspired me with all those stories of how you toiled so that you could keep studying.

You never nagged my mom nor us, sisters. Feminism was your forte long before the word was coined.

You stopped several orthodox practices in our family, like staying in a separate room when you are on your periods or not having lunch till late in the afternoon until the rituals are performed, every single day. I remember you shared that you said, "I can't keep my children hungry and crying. God must not be approving it too".

Women in our house would never have been out there, performing well, in all the fields, be it education, sports or art, if not for you.

You played tennis, clad in a saari, with dadaji as your partner in college times and even after that. That was quite bold of you, for your times.

A vivid reader that you were, introduced me to books like 'The Secret Seven', 'The famous five', 'Agatha Christie's Poirot', your favourite genre was no doubt the detective fiction. Cannot forget how we loved watching Agatha Christie's show on TV, also The Sherlock Holmes and yes our very own Byomkesh Bakshi. We tried to solve the cases before they could.

Your proficiency in knitting, stitching, embroidery, crotchet was so well accomplished that women from all age groups lined up to learn from you.

"Why don't you charge a tuition fee from them aaji", we sisters used to ask.

"I am not that talented my dears, I love to impart, whatever knowledge that I have. In the process my skills get rebrushed too", you replied. You never were business minded.

You emboldened me to study. Helped me in my essays, that too in English. When you told me that you were a first year science student, I asked you once, "Why didn't you complete your graduation aaji?". You said, you got married in your first year and later wasn't allowed to finish college. And that's why you urged us to study and be independent before getting married.

You worked with a hospital in our hometown and used to converse fluently in English with the European visitors that often came there. How proud I felt! No one's dadi in our locality could read or write properly and knowing English was unlikely.

"Aaji, 7 down, another word for fortitude, strength, 5 letters?",  if I asked, while solving a crossword, your immediate answer would be "vigor". Your vocabulary was commendable. Remember?, solving crosswords from 'Indian Express' was our favourite Sunday passtime.

I remember when I first wrote a poem in grade 5, you were elated, when I narrated it. "Excellent dear, keep writing", were your words of motivation. You never failed to encourage me in my endeavours.

Even at the age of 80 plus, you looked after my baby whenever I needed a break. "Put him down. I'll watch him. You catch a nap by then. I cannot pick him up, don't have the strength in my legs like before", you used to say. "No aaji, don't say that. You are a lot more energetic than me sometimes. You will always be my strength", my response.

Now, you're not with us, yet, I know you're still blessing me to stay strong and do my best.

'Wherever you are, keep blessing me,

Will always cherish the moments together,  that, forever brought glee!'.

Love,

Jui.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Strength and weakness go hand in hand. Keep reading for my next blog in the series.

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