Trauma is real yet repairable.

 Jaya never talked about it. She always thought that she would be made fun of. No one took her foreboding seriously. When ever she was with someone in a car she would get jolted at crossroads. Her feet hitting the floor of the car even in passenger seat, trying to brake urgently. When she drove herself, her heart would skip a beat while at the crossroads. It was the same even on a scooter or motorbike. When riding pillion she would grab her husband's back tightly and squeeze her eyes shut.

"Kyun darti hai itna Jaya", "Arey, don't speed up, varna Jaya darr jayegi", "Yeh back seat driving band kar yaar Jaya", was what Jaya would often hear when travelling with friends. They took her phobia for her cowardice. Jaya took those comments as joke, not taking to her heart. They were Jaya's friends after all.

The other day Jaya was driving alone, as usual she slowed down at the crossroads. As if crossing the road on foot, she glanced at both the sides for any vehicles arriving, leaning from the car's windows. There were none. So she decided to cross. As she stepped on the accelerator a motorbike from nowhere raced across the street. Thankfully, Jaya was in full control, then and there she hit the brakes. She parked the car at the side and rested her head on the steering, her legs were shaking and the flashback made her pale. 

That day when her son was just a year old, she was travelling with her husband and mother, in their car. Her son was sitting in her lap. Jaya's mother was seated at the back. Husband and Jaya were both wearing their seat belts, which they always did, even if sitting at the back. And at the crossroads a speeding motorbike crashed onto the car suddenly. Their car wasn't fast, it had a speed of hardly 30-40 km/hr. But the bike was over 100 km/hr. and more so the boy riding wasn't wearing his helmet and had a pillion woman. Jaya's son fell from her lap into the space between the dashboard and her feet. Her knees slammed against the dashboard. She for a second couldn't fathom the situation. As she realised her son was in her feet, crying, she abruptly picked him up. Her husband had very good reflexes and had braked immediately. But something seemed not right. When her husband peeped out of the window, still sitting in the car, he could see just the face of a woman. Her entire body was under the car. Jaya's husband told Jaya that he wasn't sure what would they see next. Jaya's mother too confirmed the footing. Husband and mother gently got down from the car. And thank God! The woman wasn't much injured. She had just flung from the bike and fell on the road, because of the impact due to their speed. Luckily Jaya's husband had hit the brakes at the right time. 

Jaya also got down from the car with her son in her arms. Her son was weeping as he was too young to comprehend what had just happened. He was in a shock as he fell down from Jaya's lap. Jaya hushed her son. But the woman's son who was riding was seen few meters away. He was shivering rather trembling fallen on the road. And they thought this wasn't a propitious state after all. 

Jaya was in a fix, whether to soothe her crying son or help these people. 

They helped the woman out. And were going to help the boy when the crowd started gathering. In India when accidents take place crowd gathers only to fuel the fire and not everyone is interested in helping. 

"Don't move your car. Don't hamper the accident scene. Let's call the police", is what the chatter was. Jaya's mother in a loud and clear volume asked, "Is anyone of you going to take the boy and his mother to the hospital?" Not one reply from the crowd. "So then back off all of you. We need the car to take them to the hospital and that is important right now". Mother instructed Jaya to take her son back home and Jaya's husband and mom took both of them to the hospital. Jaya left with reluctant feet. 

Later they got to know that the boy was underage, had no license, no helmet. His mother and him didn't suffer major injuries. But because he was riding without license he was scared that he will be arrested, and hence he was shivering with fear, when he crashed that day. His mother begged not to call police. Jaya's husband paid for their medical treatment. 

Jaya opened her eyes and looked around. She was in the car and back to her senses. She decided not to take this lightly, as she wouldn't be able to drive henceforth, if this continues. So she gathered up courage to visit a doctor. 

The doctor said that it was a case of PTSD.

 PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A disorder characterised by failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. The doctor said that this condition may last for months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. 

Now Jaya realised why she would always feel jitters and anxiety whenever at crossroads. even a speeding motorbike would trigger her fear. Jaya read books to know more about the disorder. She found out that PTSD symptoms may include nightmares or flashbacks. Avoidance of situations that bring back the trauma was essential, else would suffer from intense sweating, heart palpitations, nausea or panic. PTSD could result in anxiety and depressed mood, also heightened reactivity to stimuli.

The traumatic event could be any, that severely threatens your existence or sense of safety. And in this case it was not only Jaya, but her infant, husband and her mother involved. 

The trauma could be not just an accident but also a sudden death of loved one. It could be verbal or physical abuse. It could also be a war, natural disasters like earthquake or floods or storms. Sudden illness or bullying could be the causes too. 

It is important for anyone with PTSD symptoms to work with a mental health professional. Therapies, treatments, medications can help. About 6 out of 100 people could have PTSD at some point in their lives is what the study suggest. If not treated at the right time you could suffer and be under stress for longer period of time. The fear could keep getting worst and could make your day to day activities difficult. 

While Jaya has recovered from the trauma with the help of her doctor, she can now drive without any fear. She loves to go on long drives with her husband, also enjoys a drive by herself without worrying about the crossroads. Her son is all grownup now and she insists that he learns to drive the car from a proper training centre, so that he can explore and cruise on his own.

"Fear is the thief of dreams"- Brian Krans

So get out of that dread and make all your dreams come true.

AUTHOR'S NOTE : PTSD information collected from Psychiatry.org, Cleveland Clinic and National Institute of Mental Health.

If you like my blog comment, share and follow for more!