Halfway there, still figuring out.....

 "Are you sure this is the right way?"

"My gut feeling says so".

"Do you trust it?"

"That's my inner voice, it won't be wrong".

These are not question- answers with ChatGPT, it's me and my head— having a normal conversation. 

Every now and then, I guess, we all keep having this conversation. We start our journey and halfway through, we cultivate doubts.

"It's getting difficult. We shouldn't have begun. We could've done it some other way. May be we should stop. We cannot hold on". Mind starts playing the usual games. And the moment we get swayed by these doubts, the tempo is broken. 

We had thought of all this before we started. We had a plan, we had a layout and thus we commenced. Then why is it that now we are skeptical? 

Yes, there's more to figure out. Enroute, we do come across obstacles, it's a struggle. But our vision should be extended. Long term sustainability is the focus. If we could survive halfway, we can make it to the destination. 

The lessons learnt on our halfway struggle, the dynamic experiences should help us pave the remaining path. 

I had planned it a certain way, yes, but I grasped some better views or better opinions, in the due course. So, why not implement the changes on the go? Change, transformation is unavoidable. Rigid decisions cannot always flourish. Adjustments, amendments wherever, whenever, should be put into effect. Flexibility to a certain extent is required, so that we don't break, but bend and restore. 

I'm figuring it out. I'm retrospecting while moving ahead. Learning from past mistakes, correcting my blunders. I should progress, even if the pace gets slower, sometimes. I need to catch my breath, refill, only then I can advance. 

Early mornings start with a rush, cooking breakfasts, as per each one's liking. Then for lunch, racking the brain for a fresh menu. And when I feel, I'm halfway done for the day, what to cook for dinner makes me weary. I feel like just running away, from all this day in and day out sprint of never ending tasks. The steamy, sweltry and perspiring kitchen leaves me exhausted. But as my kids come with their hungry, innocent faces, I forget the tiresome emotions. I get a surge of energy, don't know from where? And I, literally search YouTube for videos, 'delicious food recipes'. I order the ingredients if they are missing in my inventory. Starting from scratch, I put in the ingredients, perfectly diced, seasoning them with love. Overpassing the idea of giving up, I eagerly wait for my family to get together on the dining table and enjoy the meals while chit-chatting. And all of this takes away any bit of fatigue, anger, despair, that was remaining. Their smiling faces and stomachs satiated with the sumptuous dinner, brightens up my spirit. My heart is full, stuffed with satisfaction. 

So, figuring it out halfway, sometimes happens naturally. People around you, your family, friends, peers, knowingly, unknowingly, prep you, push you. And you decipher the next part.

A painter is painting a landscape picture for his exhibition. He finishes his musing and realises that it's not up to the mark. He has to discard it completely to begin again from scratch. In this process he wastes his time, his energy and it is going to cost him more in terms of money too. But if he had paused halfway through and tweaked the musing well in time, his efforts wouldn't have squandered. If you could tweak your life halfway, just imagine how much you can redeem!

I'm glad that I paused, looked deep and envisaged how I wanted my life to be. This halfway consciousness facilitated my growth. Who are the people that stand by me, how not to indulge too much in everyone and everything Everybody has their set of priorities, ergo, you can calibrate your own. You don't need to feel guilty about placing yourself at the top of your list. You've to value yourself first for everyone to appreciate and cherish your existence. This halfway scrutiny guides you through the rest of the road to your destiny so that you don't need to restart from the scratch. You don't need to discard your musing after it's completion.  

People are necessary! We are not saints hence cannot survive alone. But it is important who we are with. 

Figuring it out halfway is advantageous, as you haven't arrived yet, so making ammendments is easier. I started this writing platform 'Content Crafters' with uncertainty. 

Building a creative community from scratch - Having written for numerous platforms, building my own, was a challenge. Why would writers be interested in a novel coterie? Will they accept? Will they turn up? But I dived in.....then there was— 

The pressure of consistency - I'll have to show up everyday. Whatever happens in my personal life, cannot impact my passion project. People with me could leave, but I have to be present. I'm the founder. But I'm glad, I'm in attendance, physically, mentally and day in and day out. But then there were—

Moments of self-doubt - It's a tough competition. There are bigger players, well-established, with countless years of experience. How will I survive and until when? Am I geared enough to swim through all this? And then when I've started overcoming these doubts —

Wanting bigger things but still learning - Feeling ambitious but being inexperienced was the phase I was in. But I decided to grow while creating. Attending workshops to sharpen my skills, guided learning from experts in the field, helped me navigate. I was figuring it out and I'm still. Carrying vision through halfway and uncertainty together, I'm struggling but striving ahead—

Realising growth is happening quietly - With the courage to continue despite the skepticism, through big and small achievements, public recognition, or obvious milestones, I steered past the times, working consistently. With honesty, grasping things on my own or with aid, I finally realised, I have evolved. 

The figuring out is making me  more patient, more disciplined. I'm now less afraid of criticism. There's more confidence in my voice.

At first, it felt like repetition. Later, I realised it was growth. Society teaches us to measure growth loudly, but in reality,  growth is often internal and invisible. It lies in the process of trials and errors, in maturing through mistakes, unfolding the path ahead rerouting when necessary. People aassume you've everything figured out, but you’re actually learning in real time. Googling things late at night, experimenting and improving as you go.

The fears of not being ready are too many. Imposter syndrome, makes you doubt your abilities. Feeling too small for your own dreams, questions your competence. Fear of failing publicly, holds you back on every new step. However, you need to outgrow the older versions of yourself. Reflecting on how your dreams have evolved, and how you want more from life and creativity, now.

People celebrate success, few talk about confusion during growth. It is the need of the time that we talk about:

• Slow progress

• Burnout

• Doubt

• Administrative work behind creative spaces

The tiny milestones and unexpected encouragement you come across in the journey, shapes your decisions while figuring it out. 

I used to think I needed confidence before taking bigger steps. Now I think confidence grows after the step is taken.

"Dreams expand faster than skills sometimes" - Unknown. 

Confidence once looked like loud uncertainty, but now feels like calm persistence. 

Maybe I’m still figuring things out. Maybe I always will be. But perhaps growth was never about having all the answers—only the courage to keep moving toward bigger dreams.

It's already May, and we're halfway through this year. Let's pause, reflect and tweak before we start the journey towards the other half of the year. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you like the blog, comment and share, keep following for more!